NOO!!!... My poor goldfishes...

sigh yeah this is an incident still in progress for me... Started like on Sunday, Saw my goldfishes were all acting weird and took a closer look... Their fins are all covered in Ick (white spots). Sigh... fishies especially goldfishes haven't been sick in a LONG time... So I grabbed the medication and added it into the tank...

Next day, nothing is happening and they seem more sick the before... Then I realised (OMG STUPID ME!!!) that I added the wrong medications... So I added in the proper one...
so now the tank is super loaded with medication...

Next day (tues), ICk seems to be starting to disapear... and I added in a new dose of meds after changing some water.

Yesterday (Weds), Ick is pretty much all gone... BUT the goldfishes aren't getting better... sigh... Medication was just way too strong for them apperently (I could have sworn that i used the same meds, on these same goldfishes last time...). Why i say that? Their finnage seems to have burned/decayed off... and they are getting skinnier, and Gasp... one of them died already...

Sigh... guess i should be more selective with the medication next time... sigh... But anyways all I could do now is hope the remaining 3 goldfishes somehow get strong again, but I fear this bout of illness and super strong meds might have left them "disabled/crippled". Their fins are either severly damaged now (crippled, can't use them). Tails are mostly gone (except for the Big guy), their skin is all wrinkly... Heck i think their eyes are scarred (blind??) GAH

BTW these goldfishes were the first fishes that I ever got (and were a gift from my Aunt, to let me start up my aquariums... oh yeah there was 8 of them originally, also a lucky number in Chinese, and in Feng-Shui), but yeah i've had them for 3-4 years now (and even though i don't like goldfishes as much as other fishes), they are still dear to me... sigh (gonna have to go buy new fishes when the epidemic is over... Hopefully there will be survivors, and need to make sure to pick up a weaker type of medication for future occurances)

A Day of Heartburn... wait... what is heartburn??

LOL... sigh I must say today (8pm-8pm) was interesting day in the regards of my eating... Of which all my meals had provided me with a bit of discomfort at one point or another.

So yeah i had a extremely terrible night, as to the fact that I couldn't sleep until like the middle of the night... (bed at 1, sleep at 4:30am)... My first target to blame would be the Iced Cappucino I had at 8 pm the night prior... but wow, so caffeine kicks in that late for me??), but then of course my legs were aching all night (could me biking to Mark's house for 4 days straight have finally killed my legs?), so that might be to blame also.

So got up late today, (needed to shower also...) so my daily alloted breakfast time of 1 hour was cut short by 30 min... and YES eating a bowl of oatmeal in less then 30 min is VERY fast for me... and i prefer SLOW... so stomach was disgruntled for a while there (bus to class)...

Lunch... decided to have a Chicken Schwarma (it's like a falafel), and I told them to make it extra spicy... (BIG MISTEAKE... IT WAS LOADED with chili oil/paste...), the lady was nice though... gave me like 2 schwarma's worth of meat... my sandwhich was like 2-3 times bigger then the ones made before it) needless to say my bus ride home was very "fun", and I was beggining to believe i was beggining to suffer from heartburn, even though i wouldn't even know how heartburn feels like, no it wasn't heartburn (or was it), just another disgruntled stomach.

Not much of a fruit eater either... So that bowl of grapes Mark's mother gave me when I visited also, sigh... bloated me also... (so missed out on the chips/pop that was being passed around at AS party)

Then finally... Korean BBQ... In all the glory of cooking your own food over a "firepit", one of course must worry about raw/overcooked(ie burnt), and so on... not to mention when your main cook is Tim Fang... you know you could be given a NICE HUGE wallop of food... Gah He's trying to kill me... (not to mention I was his ride home...). So needless to say i'm bloated... in a lot of pain... and not in the mood to concentrate on the work that needs to be done (I'll do it tomolo qhwn I wake up). Oh yeah our grill became super laced with burnt material so nasty smoke was blowing into my general direction burning/blinding me etc etc...

Gah what a fine 24 hour day worth of cuisine...

Feeling Lost...

Well as many of you know i'm taking summer school, in a vain attempt to boost my averages (and again for those who don't know cuz i'm on probation). Right now at Univeristy for the past 2-3 weeks you could the result of 4 or maybe 5 years worth of (going insane etc) University, as happy parents drag their Robe cladded son or daughter around taking pictures and lugging around a huge framed certificate... If you havent figured it out its Convocation right now (ie Graduation)

It makes me wonder, many of these people i'm assuming has a pretty good idea where they want to head off and what types of careers they may want to go into. However thats my problem... Personally I can't see a future for myself. The current path i'm directing mself in is through Life Science/Biology. But its the most "easiest" path for me right now. I've given up on specilist courses and higher prestige sounding career paths... My father is constantly going through the same lecture with me every 2nd or 3rd week regarding my route through Univeristy (i've given up on math, and he really wants me to take it up again) of course if Univeristy was more like Ward, and High School, i'll be glad to pick it up again and keep hacking at it till i pass. However just to prove my decision was what I believed to be the right one i recieved yet another letter from the Univeristy when i got home today...

"Blah blah blah by now you should have been notified of your "PROBATION" status and potential suspension if you blah blah blah don't shape up"

Oh geeze thanks for the constant threat of an axe hanging over my head... BTW did I mention its currently Midterms right now for Summer school?? Yes yes thank you dear Univeristy for this annoying threat... If by any chance i LOSE IT and go crazy could I please put the blame on you guys??

Well thats leads me back to the original question, just exactly where am I headed?? Essesentially my path in life to just take the route that I view are most accesible to me, and i would have a greater chance of succeding in, but career wise what will it bring me? I'm at a total lost in regards to that, i'm surrounded everyday by smart people who has pretty a good established idea of their life. Me nadda...

I'm gonna be stuck in University for 4-5 years, wasting a lot of my parents cash, only to get a piece of paper, and have no clue what to do with it... not really a bright prospect.

Which reminds me, the greatest mytery currently in my family. My 3rd sister (most succesful in my family IMO) has had her Bachelors in Chem Engineering for many years, has a good job, good life up north, has decided to head off to Denmark and get her Masters... (really need to ask her about tht when i see her online). Which just brings my whole question back up what does one do after they are ejected into the "real" world from expensive educated life...

Sigh Ideal fantasy... win the lottery and live a simple life, living off my winnings... that'll take care of it all... reality nothing close to it...

Sigh I'm realising that this blog is pretty much a bunch of random complaints jumping around... so that enough from me

Are You Afraid of the Dark?

My friend forced me to watch the second half of ring yesterday... no wait it was on tv on Mon? lets say 1.5 days ago. He didn't care at all that i missed the first half already...

Anyways I must say asides for the fact that i totally have no clue what the heck was happening, I couldn't really see much "scariness" in the later half of the movie... In fact the thing was my imagination was providing me with all the "scares" i keep anticipating something really bad to pop out, when nothing happens at all...

anyways that enough about the movie. Lets get to the main part of this blog.
Anyways what i find sad is that my most favorite part of my house asides for my bedroom is the basement as its where the computer, my fishes etc are located. Not to mention its the coldest part of the house during summer and warmest/cozyist in winter. However the sad thing is that with my "imagination" I tend to hate being in the basement SIGH... the general layout of the whole floor just gives my imagination with a lot to spook me out...

For starters from where I sit, all I have to do is look to my right and right into the washroom... what do i see... A nice mirror glaring back... JOY LOL... and since the washroom is "elevated from the ground" by like a few inches theres a nice gap of who knows what under the flooring also peering towards me... (though i can't see it). The old computer sits right next to me, and the storage area is right behind the wall in front of me and the door leads out towards the washroom... and when my parents aren't in the basement the lights of the main part of the basement is turned off...

Essentially i'm surrounded by lots of darkness and lots of open space, and so on... and when i'm not preoccupying myself with a "task" and my imagination kicks in.. and I imagine things "popping out" of the tv, mirror or any of these many dark places.

Enough said... the mere fact that I'm talking about this is already spooking me out... (studying for a quiz has tired me out a lot... )

and yes I'm not afraid to say it...

I'M A BIG WUSS!!!

Whats the rush man??

Sigh... wasn't planning on making another post so soon... but I feel I need to get this off my chest...

Anyways yeah was heading home from my little trip to Pacific to pick up cd's after AS today...
Was driving down Steeles, and was at the intersection at Victoria Park trying to make a left turn. Lights start changing to yellow so that was my que to turn, however just as I start moving, a family of "smart allecs" (pedestrians) decides to RUN the lights before it changes. So i stop and let them finish crossing. So at this point i'm stuck in the middle of the road already blocking oncoming traffic.

To my DISMAY, and also noting the fact that by now the lights were RED... SOME IDIOT on the "oncoming" lane decides that he could speed past the red light... WHILE i'm still stuck there blocking his way, waiting for the family to finish crossing...

Man like I wasn't already dying enough from the heat, i have to witness some idiot come within 1-2 meter of crashing into me... SHEASH...

Can't you guys just slow down... and OBEY the traffic signs... it doens't kill to STOP!!!

enough ...

Feeling kinda Orange?

More like i'm going through a phase of rewatching Kimagure Orange Road (anime)...

For those who don't know about it (gasp!!!) it's basically a romance anime, that involves the main character being stuck in a love triangle (pretty one sided, but he doesn't have the heart to ditch the other girl), and thrown in a twist of ESP/Psychic powers...

Well.. for me I think I like the show for what realism it has in it... As many aspects of this show, mirrors that of High School Youth's... (but then of course i'm no longer a High School student, but anyways.. thats not gonna stop me from watching it...). Of course as many anime shows are, they are overly too idealistic to be true, but I think thats what draws me to it. For me to be involved and Immersed (as an audience) to a life or fantasy, that is full of stuff that my life is lacking in (Tim would probaly start getting the idea of a "Young Maiden" about now LOL)

Anyways along the lines of immersing myself into something too idealistic to be true, it could also be attributed to things that I regret I didn't do (No No, I'm still boring old me, no love life any time soon), but i'm probaly reffering to my University life...

Personally I felt I wasted it, only went to University for class. My circle of friends is a MIGHTILY Tiny one... and when I actually did start attempting to make friends it was the last week of school (and they're all now scattered back to wherever they came from). Heck i've never even done anything with my college (Victoria College), all year long.

Thats enough of that, before I end it I'll talk a bit about the meaning of the color orange which I find beffiting to this blog. Orange represents enthusiasm, fascination, happiness, creativity, determination, attraction, success, encouragement, and stimulation. Oh and also its suppose to "increase the craving for food". I was eating a lot more today LOL

Anyways that enough delving into my soul today...