Bugger.. i needed a root canal

So here's the nice little update on my ailment...

visited the dentist today, got an x-ray and we end up seeing a "black hole" surrounding the root of one my front teeth... sigh... the dentist proceeded to do a root canal, and gaved me anaesthetics. Wow that stuff was amazing LOL... didn't feel a thing at all... asides for some vibrations from grinding/drilling... but gah

to tell yuo the truth my eyes were closed most of the time, but this i do know... a) when he drilled into my teeth a lot of pus came out (EWWW) well he said it, i can't see a thing even i wanted to... anyways the procedure from what i understand even with my eyes shut (like 90% of the time) was that they drilled a hole to reach the root (inside) of my teeth and then they proceeded to get needle, with cotton swabs? and ram it down the hole to "mop/clean" up the mess in there from infection or whatever... then they drill it bigger and ram a bigger and longer needle in (i know that for a fact as the dentist kept asking for a bigger one, and then plunged something into the root, and then asked for yet bigger/longer one etc) and repeat till they're satisfied with the cleaning... then they flush the hole out with water (well obviously since theres lots of teeth debris in there now...) and then they plug it up with a temporary filling.. (that i have no clue how its gonna stay in my teeth... but it seems it is?)

anyways i have to go back in about 2 weeks time to finish off the root canal, remember they just left a temporary filling it in... (meaning they just filled up the hole by sticking somethig in it)


sigh... some summer i'm having right now LOL

anyways on another note... CNAnime 2006 begins this friday, so that where i plan to be for the the whole weekend.. and right after that TIFF (Toronto International Film Festival) begins so i'll most likely be watching a few movies... got 5 picked out so far (all Korean/Chinese/Japanese)

OMG THE PAIN!! what is wrong??

gah another late update here... anyways exam has been done and finished i have no clue how i did... the whole family spent the weekend driving my 3rd sis and the cats home to her bf in the village of Thorne near North Bay... it was hilarious having the cats wander aroudn the crowded car while we drove up, in fact the journey up north started with one of the cats sitting on the drivers lap as we pulled out of the driveway

Anyways thats the gist of everything that happened up to the beggining of this week.

Lets get a bit of this week in... I'm in a LOT of PAIN... and I HAVE no F***ing clue what the cause of it is.. i have theories based on the location of the pain which FYI is my teeth, or the muscle/nerves directly beneath my nose (maybe rubbing my nose too much, i was plenty sickish the past few weeks, having to blow my nose alot...) or maybe its my gums (but when you look at it... its perfectly healthy, healthier then everyone in my house practically..)

I'm saying it the muscle/nerves but then... wait a moment if its the nerves it could still be something wrong with my teeth right?? afterall IT COULD be at the root of my teeth.. omg is this where a root canal comes in?? thats a nasty/expensive procedure isn't it?? forget i'm putting my bet on the muscle/nerve and that whatever is wrong with it (which i have no clue), but the now super active nerves (which are killing me with all their pain signals) must be inervating my teeth also which is why they have a constant throbbing-like pain that won't just go away...

besides I just got home, and immediately when i said there was something wrong they could already tell that it must be from around my nose, as apperently the area is now swollen?? i just got home haven't look at myself in the mirror... sigh WTF is wrong... Guess i'll have to go to the doctor tomorrow (and praying he doesn't tell me to go see a dentist...)

anyways for the time being lets go see what type of drugs (painkillers) that my family has stashed away...

update: went to see a doctor today... sigh its a problem with my teeth... but theres no point visiting the dentist at the moment... i've caught an infection, and now parts of my face is poofy because of swelling... so now i'm surviving on anti-biotics, and painkillers. Once the swelling dies down i'll get about to seeing the dentist to figure out went wrong

sigh... trying to live up to expectations??

anyways lets see ... Exam this thursday... obviously not looking forward to it

anyways got myself into a stupid argument with my parents today, and what was it.. ah yes Father wants me to spend what little remains of my summer working at a second job or something like that (at his factory)... sigh as if my summer wasn't already wasted freaking out and stressing over summer school (and my miserable marks)

anyways the thing that peeved me off i guess was how he was pressuring and forcing me into it without giving me time to think about it (not to mention i'm more interested in munching on the burger i had in my mouth at the time), and when i complained about him forcing me into it, he said he wasn't (but then he later tells me that he already told them that i would be going... what??) and all this time hes thrusting the employment papers into my hands expecting me to sign it so he could deliver it to work the next day (all the while i was trying to stuff food in my mouth..)

anyways later on when i went into a berserk stupid and childlike anger tantrum over how he was pressuring me into, it came up how i'm directing myself in University (course/program where it would lead me etc), and then he expressed dissatisfaction over my physique... (sigh i've heard you mention this a number of times, especially in the past few days... ) you know it just really doesn't boost my morale and give me much to be happy about... of course later on my mother comes aroudn to ask what happened that made me peeved and pout like a child...

OO that was very smart coming fromt he person that has the most dissatisfaction over me... (my hair, my clothes, my room, my SLOW eating habits etc etc) it really makes you wonder what parents expect out of you... my generic impression is that they want me to conform to the typical over achiveiving chinese kid, or at least smart (sorry that ain't me... I think all that went to my sisters...), and if that didn't work to fit into at least some sort of generic mode of a "what a normal person should be" (I'm too skinny, non active, slow eating, sloppy dressed, etc for their liking)

All i could say is that they're expecting too much out of me... i've said it plenty of times that my intelligence/school habits is sub par compared to everyone in University and it doens't help either that i have absolutely no goals of what to do with my future, so what i'm really doing is just bumbling along through a system that i wonder if it would even benefit me... anyways as such my feelings are that i'll prob end up with some low key job (that doesn't deal at all with anything i'm studying)... sigh...

anyways to answer the physique part... my father seems to want me to work on that (now that he finally realises that I WANT want little summer i have left for myself... after i went to hell and back over it...), so he now wants me to go work out or something... sigh... they want me to be big and strong etc... but then of course you know, thats something i'm not... heck in terms of weight and body size... I haven't changed much at all since my high school years (especially my two grade 12's, which by the way were my most physically active years in my opinion) and i'm still wearing the exact same clothes as i did back then (meaning my height has been stabilised, so don't say that i just stretched what little body mass i had over an elongated skeleton). The thing is i've only prob lost 3-4 lb's worth of weight ever since i went into Univeristy (and amazingly that freshmen 15 that everyone talks about was non-existent for me, as I LOST WEIGHT...). So the weight loss from my most inactive years (in Uni) and my most active years (final 2 years of HS) was very nil, and we all know i didn't get fat in those few years... as hey I"M STILL SKINNY... and anyways if we look at my family... me my eldest sister, and my father are all skinny... (so why why why must they believe that just by goign to the gym that i could become big and strong... has anyone ever though of genetics??... btw on this same line of thought my mom, and my 3rd sis have healthier weights then the prior mentioned... and i have no clue about my 2nd sister... Heck even my cousins made this comment at one point saying how my eldest sister doesn't belong in the family as she's too skinny, when they all complained about their weight... obviously because we take after our father...) but then of course that is something i'm quite certain they won't except it, after all they have an image of what they expect of me, or of what they want me to become, sadly all to which i'll most likely never achieve...

sigh don't you just love the pressure for you to be soemthing that you could never become

what little bloodthirsty killer they be...

LOL so as you know my family is cat-sitting 2 cats right now... and this past week we've seen good examples of their "hunter nature" well actually just one of them as far as i know.

Me and my father have seen it catch two mouse live on the same day, and he (the cat) always gives up on the mouse the second we notice and pay attention... afterall its his little gift to us and he wants to be rewarded (ie give him attention) so my father always had to do the killing...

More recently he scared the living dayligths by brining home another little mouse and flinging its dead body all throughout the house before i got to it... Then the next morning I see a dead bird lying in the hall way in front of my bedroom (didn't even let me go to the washroom in peace... wanted me to acknowledge his "kill" but then of course i just woke up and didn't even see it till after he whined and cried for a long time)

then this morning sigh the biggest kill yet... somehow he got to the birds nest... or did the stupid bird (the baby) decide to commit suicide and jump out of the nest... no clue... but we were devastated lol.. (the birds were nesting there before the cats arrived and had suceeded in chasing all the cats into the house for so long... ), anyways the remaining little guy has now fledged from the nest probaly because of whatever happened to its little sibling...


on other news... i'm hating myself like crazy for doing miserable on the most recent test i did (doesn't help that EVERYONE or almost everyone did better and raised the class average like crazy, i on the other hand brought it down...). OO and what do you know... the finals are sometime next week... sigh how time flies... man i can't fail this ... sigh...